Everyone hates going to the gym. If anyone tells you differently, they are a psychopath. There are plenty of reasons to hate the gym, and no one in the world has time to go through all of them, so we will just explore a few here.
It’s Expensive.
A good gym in New York can cost upwards of $80-$100 a month. Sure you can join a Planet Fitness for $10 a month, but trust me, you don’t want to go there. They have pizza parties there routinely, not really what you think about when you are thinking about getting into shape. So to get a good gym, be prepared to spend at the very minimum $50 a month of your hard earned money to go to a place where you hate every second of your life while you’re there. Why not just go buy a bunch of ice cream and candy instead?
Water Fountain Lines.
You just pounded out a set of one million and you’re sweating from every orifice on your body. The only thing that you can think of that will make you feel better is a refreshing sip of water from that glorious fountain. Problem is, there is always at least 3 people in front of you and guess what – they are all filling up giant water bottles, maybe even milk jugs. How about this…let me cut in front of you really quick so I can take me 10 second (tops) sip of water before you use 20 minutes to fill your water bottle up? Thanks.
Getting Pinned.
Oh man, is there a more emasculating feeling than trying to do a couple of reps on bench press and end up getting pinned under the weight? Yes there is, having a guy come over and helping you pick the weight up off of your weak little body. I think I’d rather get crushed under the weight than have another person come over and embarrass me like this.
Old Ripped Guys.
This guy has to be like at least 60 years old and he is bench pressing double the weight that you are. To be fair, he has had more time to get huge than you, but HE’S OLD! YOU SHOULD BE IN BETTER SHAPE THAN A SENIOR CITIZEN! Talk about humiliating. This is enough to make any gym goer lower their head in shame and walk out.
Weights Thrown Around Anywhere.
You get to the weight rack and you want to use the 35 pound weights. You can only find one. Where is the other one? On the complete other side of the gym. Why? Because some jerk was too lazy to walk it back to where it belongs, on the weight rack. Now you have to go search for that weight and while you’re doing that, someone else takes the 35 pound weight you were going to use with the one you just found. You will never win.
Soreness.
If you’re just getting started at the gym, get ready for a LOT of pain. I’m not talking about dropping a weight on your foot or anything like that (ouch!), I’m saying that even if you lift everything in perfect form and do a stellar job, you are going to be sore for at least the next 2 days. Especially if you intend on doing leg lifts. Be prepared to not be able to walk for like a week.
Seeing A Girl Who Is Bigger Than You (for guys).
You’re a big strong man, or so you think. You look around and see a woman lifting more than you. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but genetically, men are supposed to be the stronger sex. What happened to you, dude? You had genetics on your side and you are getting lapped by this lady who can probably rip you in half.
The Awful Music.
Every gym I’ve ever been to has been blaring awful music. My college gym would just blast the radio which played the top 40 pop hits along with Nickelback-style butt rock. My gym at home would play hits from the 80’s and 90’s, aka New Wave awfulness. My current gym blasts EDM like we were at a rave. If you’re thinking to yourself, “I’ll just wear headphones,” think again. They blast this music so loud that it can leak through any kind of headphones you have. I have noise canceling headphones currently and unless I am absolutely BLASTING my music, doing damage to my ear drums, I can still faintly hear the beats of the EDM b.s. they think everyone needs to listen to.
Shirtless Lifters.
You would think that this is a joke, but it’s not. I’ve seen dudes take off their shirt just to show you how incredibly huge they are and how you aren’t. Hey buddy, I know you’re jacked. You know how? I can see how much you’re lifting, I can see your muscles through your already skin tight shirt, and I can also hear you screaming every time you lift anything. Yes, this guy is also the guy who grunts on every rep he does. All attention MUST be on him, so his shirt is off and he screams and probably slams the weight when he is done.
Bottomless Lifters.
Well, this doesn’t happen while lifting but you get the gist. Look I don’t care if you ARE as hot as Ryan Gosling (pictured above), I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR JUNK! It also seems like this guy is constantly hovering around whatever locker you chose to put your stuff in. He cannot go away fast enough or at least put on pants fast enough.
Trust me, I hate all of these things. It hasn’t stopped me from going though. We all need to have that sweet beach body, and beach bodies are made in the winter! So let’s all go to the gym!
