If you’re not familiar with saints (and not the New Orleans variety), they’re a part of Christianity. Different Christians may believe in different kinds of saints, but generally the saints have specifically designed patronages. They are basically the representative for a certain cause or problem. If you are suffering from an ailment, have a problem, or a fear, there are specific saints who are told to be able to look after you and guide you through your issues. St. Francis of Assisi is the patron saint of animals. St. Anthony of Padua is the patron saint of the poor. Not even saint is normal, though. There are a lot of saints that are tasked with some very bizarre patronages. (I also want to stress that these are real saints and these are really their patronages, I’m not making this up.)
St. Julian – Carnival Workers
St. Clare of Assisi – Television Writers
St. Genesius – Actors/Comedians
St. Barbara – Fireworks/Guns/Bombs
St. Drogo – Ugly People and Coffee
St. Monica – Alcoholics
St. Clotilde – Disappointed Children
St. Bibiana – Hangovers
St. Sebastian – Unruly Children
St. Lidwina – Ice Skaters
St. Cajetan – Unemployed People
St. Cornelius – Twitching
St. Hubert of Liege – Fear Of Werewolves
St. Gummarus – Lumberjacks
St. Elgius – Gas Station Workers
St. Fiacre – STDs
St. Polycarp of Smyrna – Dysentery
St. Isadore of Seville – Computers/The Internet
St. Joseph of Cupertino – Astronauts
St. Roch – Gravediggers
St. Giles – Breastfeeding
St. Christopher – Bachelors
St. Gertrude of Nivelles – Fear Of Mice
St. Amrose – Beekeepers
St. Nicholas – Prostitutes
Whew, now I know who to pray to when I have a hangover and can’t sleep because of Werewolves. Even if you don’t believe in praying to saints, you have to share this list. It’s just too weird NOT to.
