The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Used To Be A Pretty Creepy Spectacle.

Thanksgiving is just 2 weeks away! Aren’t you excited? I feel like I’ve annoyed my co-workers about Thanksgiving for about a month now, but it’s finally almost here!

One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions is, of course, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. When you think about it, it’s kind of a weird thing we do every year. Companies trot out these huge, expensive, inflatable monsters that represent current trends in pop culture. Actually, a lot of people don’t know this, but before we had popular cartoons and whatnot, the parade used to look like a monster movie. I guess we didn’t know what to make the floats out of back then, so we turned to our nightmares.

This is a toy soldier with an a-bomb shaped tumor coming out of his head. Hooray, Thanksgiving!

“Mmm…delicious parade goers and gravy!” says the giant creepy clown.

This is like that scene in Ghostbusters when all the ghosts escape.

Here, a mob of brave New Yorkers tether down one of the extraterrestrials from Alien.

Hey, it’s Scary-Backwards-Man! We love Scary-Backwards-Man!

The creepiest part about this is that Halloween was over by the time this was taken. Get out of here, Jack!

I can’t tell if this is supposed to be a man, or giant pickle in a white suit?

I don’t even want to know what this clown has publicly done to make him feel so ashamed.

I don’t want even wanna touch this.

Is that supposed to be James Lipton?

You thought NYPD were bad now…

My parents were children when this happened. This probably explains why they don’t like visiting me in NYC.

Why did cartoon characters look like cave-monsters before Mickey Mouse came around?

Ominous.

We seriously gotta stop with the clowns, guys.

This definitely looks like things that would fight Godzilla. Or maybe things Tim Burton dreams after eating a lot of turkey. Either way, I’m glad we have a more normal, corporate-sponsored parade to watch every year.

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