Christmas is right around the corner, and right about now, everyone is stressing out about it. Most people are busy buying presents, finding ugly sweaters, planning trips back home, and generally being freaked out about spending money.
But what a lot of people tend to forget is that New Year Eve is only a week after Christmas. What that means is you should also be thinking about what your New Year’s resolution should be as well. In an effort to take some stress off of you, I’ve compiled a list of resolutions that you should seriously consider embracing.
1. Get on TV somehow.
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It doesn’t matter how you do it, just make it on TV somehow. Do something in the background of a news report, complain about some kind of problem in your neighborhood and alert the news organizations, anything. Just make it on TV so you’ll get to have that glorious moment when people come up to you and say, “Hey, didn’t I see you on TV last night?”
2. Floss.
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Most people make this resolution every year. It’s time to face everyone’s worst nightmare and actually start doing the bloodbath that is known as flossing. Flossing is great for the health of your teeth and gums, but usually it is a bloody, painful mess when you don’t do it regularly. You can never win when it comes to flossing. But you can at least try.
3. Go to the doctor’s at least once.
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Most people avoid the doctor’s office and the dentist like the plague. Well, you probably shouldn’t. Make plans to see your doctor at least once in the next coming year and it might save your life. (Or hopefully it will at least improve it.)
4. Don’t untag any pictures of yourself from Facebook.
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Seriously, you look like that. I know you wish you didn’t but those unflattering pictures from your friend’s birthday party are what you really look like. It’s not trick photography, that’s really you. Admit it and let the world see. Eat some humble pie every once in a while.
5. Start thinking of a Halloween costume now!
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You don’t want to end up with one of these lame “sexy” costumes next year do you? Of course not. So start planning your costume now. By next October, you’ll be so ready.
6. Start a band.
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You’ve always wanted to do this. You know how to play an instrument. You know a couple other people who do too. Just start a band already. Check that off your bucket list this year, play a show and feel the exhilaration of jamming out with your buddies and making people dance through the mirth of music.
7. Take one step toward becoming Batman.
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You love Batman, right? Take a step toward becoming the Caped Crusader. Join a martial arts class, become a billionaire, or just go live in the mountains for a while. Just do something that Batman is known for. Get in shape and wear a cape. It all counts and is a baby step toward the ultimate goal, being the Batman.
8. Don’t vote all year.
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Luckily there aren’t many, if any, elections in the year 2015. So, if you choose to do this one you are already halfway there. All that’s left to do now is refrain from voting in those stupid reality show contests and you’re golden. This has to be the most easily accomplished goal on the lest.
9. Give up sex.
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Hear me out on this one. By giving up sex for the year you will save a lot of things. You’ll save time, you’ll save money, you’ll save your heart from potentially being broken. The crusade for sex is one that leads to a lot of disappointment, so if you just give it up, you will avoid all of that. And if you are in a relationship, or looking to start one, you can really get to know the person you are seeing as opposed to having a relationship based on sex, which never ends well.
Give one of these 9 off-kilter New Year’s resolutions a try and see how long you can go. Your life may end up being better…and if not? At least you did something different for a while.
