Toilets come in all sorts of shapes and sizes (and smells), but do you ever think about how they came to be? You can complain as much as you want about the bathroom at your favorite bar. Maybe the whole toilet shakes a little when you sit and the water splashes up at you when you flush. But believe me, this are magical throne from the gods compared to what we used to poop into.
Ancient Egypt.
With the invention of the city came the new problem of what to do with all these people’s waste. The Egyptians invented toilet seats that went over deep holes in the ground to deal with the poop of the wealthy class. The slaves and commoners I assume just dug their own holes somewhere out in the desert?
Ancient Rome.
The Romans took the spirit of the new form of democracy they invented to the bathroom. Public bathrooms featured no private stalls, and even a communal sponge for wiping. What a truly grand empire it was.
The Aztecs.
The Aztecs probably win the award for deepest latrine pits. I guess it helps when you threaten your slaves with beheading.
Medieval Europe.
Befitting the backwards time it was, in feudal Europe instead of digging their waste underground, they kept it up on towers. Then the fun began because you got to chuck it out the stone window on to the peasants that believe you to be a god.
Elizabethan Times.
The first flushing toilet was actually designed in the 16th century for Queen Elizabeth by Sir John Harington, her godson. She refused to use it however because, as I said, throwing poop out your window at peasants really is a hoot.
Victorian Times.
The people in Victorian times instituted the public restroom, this time just for standing urinals with cool, steampunk-looking copper pipes.
The Old West.
These outhouse shacks with the classic moon symbol were actually common practice until the 1970’s, when we decided to move our toilets indoors. It actually makes more sense to have them out here don’t you think?
Modern Day India.
India, and actually a lot of countries, prefer to use simple holes in the ground to expel their waste into over big bulky thrones. I guess it’s more efficient, but how do they check Twitter?
The next time you come across that accursed truck stop bathroom, still crawling with the demons of it’s previous user, pinch your nose and remember that at least Queen Elizabeth isn’t hurling her royal poop from her castle window. This is truly a golden age we live in.
