Remember those charming books you read as a kid? Maybe you’re sharing them with your children now. And maybe you’re finding it hard not to snicker like an 8-year-old at things that you didn’t notice as a kid, but seem too obvious now. Like what? Oh, like these:
1. Lost in translation.
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Okay, so get means goat and killing means kid in Swedish. It’s fine, guys. False alarm. (get killing)
2. DO IT NOW!
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The masked gunman waves his weapon in front of the terrified hostages. “I said TOUCH THE COW!”
3. Label placement is important.
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You really pulled a switcheroo on that zebra, huh.
4. Helpful diagrams.
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You know, in case you were wondering. I think we’ll need several more diagrams to get to the bottom of this illustration choice, though.
5. This one has layers.
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Layers and layers of wrong.
6. What do you see in the kitchen? Say the words.
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“Hoath Satan bvfd lonsh londoh babage!” Okay, we were hoping for “cookie,” but, you know, that’s good effort.
7. Nice Horn.
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Suddenly those heavily-lashed eyes are staring a little too deeply into your soul.
8. Everything about this is terrible.
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I tried to write a clever caption but I was cringing too hard.
9. Well, it’s accurate.
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Sometimes you need the “no frills” approach to anatomy lessons.
10. I’m sure it makes sense in context.
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I’m going to keep telling myself that. Context. Context…
11. So!
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Well, there’s a way to start a conversation.
12. This might not be the best idea to suggest to a child.
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But I’m sure kids’ books cover concepts of boundaries…
13. ..oh. Nevermind.
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I feel like all other relationship advice takes the complete opposite stance on this. How does this even come up in a kid’s book?
14. Mister Dog.
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Mister Dog, we’ve all gathered here because we love you. Put the pipe down, please.
15. Special coal.
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I don’t know, Thomas definitely looks like he wants some of that special coal.
16. Lion, stop.
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The monkey is the only one aware of the double entendre, and is shocked at what became.
17. Maybe there’s a page missing?
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The tired publisher shrugged. “Yeah. It’s fine. No one will notice.”
18. Come on, you did this on purpose.
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Make your own “seaman” joke. I’m done.
Oh dear. Now I know why I grew up to think like I do. It was those darn “children’s” books!