Oof. January 1st is here again: the day for Advil, vitamin C, sunglasses, closed curtains, and a vast array of hangover remedies. That fifth, sixth, or seventh glass of celebratory champagne seemed like the best idea you ever had at 1AM, but come morning, there’s nothing you regret more. Your head is pounding and you wish that you had a robot to bring you the tallest glass of ice water, because the kitchen is so… far… away.
The animal kingdom also goes a little wild on NYE, and 2014 was no different. Should we check in and see how they’re doing after their raucous night of celebrating?
1. “Can’t. Move.”
2. “Nope, not happening. I’d high five you, but…”
3. “Wait, how did I get here?”
4. “I’m not even going to try to explain this to you.”
5. “My head is POUNDING, but I will be forever glam.”
6. “Who says the party has to stop at sunrise?!”
7. “Who said you could come into my room? Now please leave…but actually come back and bring me a water.”
8. “Must. Hydrate. So. Hard.”
9. “GET THAT HALF-EMPTY BUD LIGHT AWAY FROM ME.”
10. “I did whaaaaaaaaat last night?!”
11. “More sleep, please.”
12. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
13. “Do I LOOK like I want to come on a run with you?”
14. “I won’t be able to see straight for days.”
15. “‘Go play with your cousins,’ she says.”
16. “…Nothing to see here.”
17. “I think I may still be tipsyyy!”
18. “Curse you, sunshine!”
19. “It may not look like it, but this is actually super comfortable. You should give it a try.”
20. “Give me all of the deep-fried greasy goodness you can find. All of it!”
21. “Just give me any carbs. I want to bathe in carbs until I can stand up again.”
22. “They shh– they should call it, “Hair of the Cat.”
23. “Do you mind with the lights? I had the dimmer installed for a reason.”
24. “I’m literally hiding under a rock for all of today. You can’t stop me.”
25. “Can someone, please, for the love of God, get me a bagel?”
26. “New Year’s Eve is so good and so bad, all at once.”
27. “Not today, Stefón. Not. Today.”
28. “I’m not moving. You can try to carry me to my bed if you want, but…good luck.”
29. “Get that camera out of my face. It’s not even 4PM yet, you need to wait for the sun to start going down to wake me up.”
30. “Shhh, why are you yelling? There is NO need to talk so loudly.”
Awww, little pug, I know how you feel. That’s the price you pay when you party like it’s 1999. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll feel better by tomorrow. Hey, how about you put off those New Year’s resolutions until the weekend, too. January 1 doesn’t REALLY count anyway.
How are you feeling today? If the answer is “Not the best,” then have a look at these simple remedies.