The “Darwin Awards” are informal awards that only go out to Earth’s stupidest humans. They are awards given to natural selection in action (i.e., these are the people who were so foolish they ended up hurting themselves or worse for stupid reasons). This may seem cruel to celebrate, but when you see what these people did that resulted in their demise, you’ll understand.
Some of the stories behind the awards are hilarious, while other are painfully cringe worthy. In any case, they’re entertaining to read about. Here are 11 of the best “winners” we could find.
1.) The Sunlight Diet.
A woman in Switzerland starved herself to death while attempting a “Sunlight Diet.” No one will ever know why she thought that was a good idea.
2.) A Presidential Suicide.
After President Obama’s reelection in 2012, a man in Florida decided it would be better to kill himself than live through the next four years. A bit dramatic, don’t you think?
3.) Naked Push Ups.
Earlier this year, a naked man doing push-ups on a Portland street was struck and killed by a passing car. That’s not how you want to go out.
4.) Death By Toilet.
Two people died and three people were injured in China while trying to get a phone that accidentally fell into a toilet. Those septic tanks are deadly.
5.) Trouble On The Balcony.
A couple in England were having sex on a balcony, only to fall to their deaths after the man hoisted the woman up onto the railing for a better angle. Not a smart move.
6.) Elephant Selfies.
Two men in Kenya were killed this spring while trying to take selfies with a wild elephant. They were trampled to death by the scared creature. Why did they think that would be a good idea?
7.) Explosive ATM Robbery.
In 2009, two thieves in Belgium tried to rob an ATM by blowing it up with dynamite. Unfortunately, they overestimated the amount of explosives needed. The resulting blast demolished the building, and killed both robbers.
8.) Electric Urination.
Following a night of heavy drinking, two Middle Tennessee State University frat members decided to scale the fence of an electrical substation. Upon spotting a wasp’s nest, one of the men declared that he was going to pee on it. The nest also happened to be on a transformer. He didn’t survive.
9.) All The Charges Were Dropped.
In 2009, a Minnesota man had all parole violations against him dismissed because he was dead. The man’s plan was to purposefully injure himself to get pain killers by jumping out of a moving car. The plan killed him. At least he didn’t have to go back to jail.
10.) Knife Proof Jacket.
A man in England somehow got the idea that his new jacket might be knife proof. Rather than testing this theory with the jacket hanging in the closet, he tested it while he was wearing it. Paramedics found him dead in his home with self-inflicted stab wounds to the chest.
11.) A Crotch-Tastic Robbery Attempt.
A handicapped man in Russia awoke to see a robbery. He locked eyes with the robber and reached for the object closest to him, which was his crutch. He hit the thief between the legs as hard as he could. The thief fled out the window after this encounter.
That’s when the handicapped man realized that he had severed one of the robber’s testicles in the attack. Police found the thief passed out from blood loss a few blocks away. Doctors could not save the testicle and amputated his entire scrotum to prevent gangrene. Ouch.
Via: Ebaum’s World and Darwin Awards
If I had any desire to rob a handicapped man, I don’t anymore. That story has me cringing.
