There are always going to be people who are jealous of what other people have (or don’t have). They think that certain people have it better than others. Well, that is not always true. You see, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Don’t believe me? Let me give you some real life examples.
Sitting on a warm toilet seat.
share
Who was JUST on this toilet seat? Oh, I hope it wasn’t the big gross guy in the office. I don’t want my precious cheeks having any kind of association with his probably gross and disgusting cheeks. I think I can smell his butt still in the room. This is a nightmare.
Sitting on a cold toilet seat.
share
I’m going to go relax and take a few minutes to go expel waste from my body, let me just sit down right here and HOLY CRAP THIS TOILET SEAT IS FREEZING!!! I DON’T EVEN THINK I CAN GO ANYMORE! YUP, THE POO HAS RETREATED BACK INTO MY BODY FOR WARMTH.
Getting cold food.
share
Discovering your delivered food is cold is a special kind of hell. Your Chinese food that is supposed to keep you warm on a cold winter night can end up frigid and disappointing. Not even a microwave can save it.
Flaming hot foods.
share
…but at least it’s better than attempting to stuff scalding food down your gullet and realizing your tongue is on fire. Good luck not tasting anything for 11-50 days.
Not having any social media profiles.
share
Deciding to delete your social media profiles can free you from many struggles of society. …But then, you’ll have no idea what your friends are doing or what they are talking about. Not only that, but people will think you’re big weirdo. There actually is a negative stigma that goes with not being on any social media. I hope that you are prepared to deal with that.
Having social media profiles.
share
SO OBSESSED!!! How many likes did my post get?! How many retweets did I get?! If the answer is “none,” it’ll lead to the deepest and darkest depression you could ever have. Obsessing over your social life is bad enough, but your social media life? That’s awful.
Being single.
share
If you aren’t in a relationship, you may wish that you had someone (or anyone). Being alone and depressed can suck. You may even wish that you could be married.
Being married.
share
Except that being in a marriage is hard work. That’s why over 50% of them don’t work out. Then you need to get a divorce, pay a ton of money is attorney fees, etc. Or you could just continue in your unhappy marriage. Seems like a lose-lose situation, so you’re probably better off being single.
Winning the lottery.
share
Winning the lottery is a dream many people have. Getting free money seems like everyone’s greatest passion in life. They probably don’t know, though, that winning the lottery and having tons of money can ruin people’s lives. In some countries when the winner claims their winnings, they wear masks over their faces to hide their identity so that people don’t try to murder them and steal their money. Many lottery winners commit suicide. Also, there is the old adage, “Money can’t buy happiness.”
Being broke.
share
Money may not buy happiness, but having NO money definitely isn’t the answer, either. Living paycheck to paycheck, barely affording basic human needs is pretty awful. Yea sure, lottery winners usually ruin their lives or commit suicide, but you know who else is depressed? People who can’t afford basic human needs.
Huh. As it turns out, apparently the grass is actually never green. Hmph…go figure. Well, I guess I’ll go ahead and give up on ever being satisfied! I’m going to go eat pizza forever because that brings me joy and I don’t think it will ever stop bringing me joy.
