They say love is a many-splendored thing. There are an endless number of songs, poems and movies centered around the idea. Most of us will spend a lot of our time searching for that perfect someone to share our lives with, and there’s really nothing sweeter than when you find it.
And then there’s these stories. These people have a very different and disturbing definition of true love… Wow.
1.) Break Out Of Prison
34-year-old Craig Souza is no stranger to the inside of a prison cell, but in 2012 he decided he didn’t really care to rejoin the Santa Cruz County Jail and simply buzzed himself back into freedom. He explained that he was worried his wife would be upset to know he was going back to jail.
2.) Fake Your Death
As part of a morbidly elaborate proposal plan in 2012, a Russian man named Alexey Bykov arranged to meet with his hopeful-bride-to-be… only to have her discover his bloodied body among a scene of carnage. After she began breaking down in sadness, he popped up and popped the question. For some reason, she said yes.
3.) Light His Fire
In 2010, Sheldon Gonzalez fell asleep next to girlfriend Berlinda Dixon-Newbold like usual. Soon, however, he was woken up by the smell of smoke and the feeling of heat in his crotch-region… Because Berlinda, upset about not receiving enough attention, had set him on fire.
4.) Steal A Moon Rock
When aspiring astronaut Thad Roberts stole $21 million worth of moon rocks from NASA’s Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center in Houston, TX, he explained it was all for love. The love of a biology intern at the facility, to be precise, who aided him in stealing and then attempting to sell the lunar artifacts. They were caught and sentenced to jail time. The best-selling novel Sex on the Moon is based on their experience.
5.) Hang Out With Their Corpse
In 1930, radiologist Carl Tanzler was working at the Marine Hospital in Key West, Florida where he met a young woman suffering from tuberculosis, Maria Elena Milagro “Helen” de Hoyos. Despite his best efforts, she succumbed to the disease and passed away in 1931… but Tanzler’s obsession was just beginning. In 1940, her body was discovered in Tanzler’s home. He had taken it in 1933 claiming her spirit had come to him saying he should.
6.) Rob A Waffle House
In 2013, Florida resident Marquis Baldwin just wanted to help his lady out with her financial difficulty (probation bills) so he did what any guy would do: grabbed his BB gun and robbed 3 Waffle House restaurants. He was arrested and charged with armed robbery and six counts of aggravated assault.
7.) Take (Fecal) Matters Into Your Own Hands
Following a spat with his girlfriend in 2011 where she apparently stole his phone, Staten Island aspiring rapper Rasheen “Illuminati” Harrison took his revenge by taking a number 2 in the elevator as he exited her apartment building. He then used that to, uh, decorate the walls which he then set on fire.
8.) Buy A Website
In 2007, Vimeo employee Patrick Moberg found the girl of his dreams while riding the 5 train in Manhattan. The only problem was that he didn’t actually talk to her before they went their separate ways. Instead of relying on the sketchy “missed connections” section of Craigslist, Patrick created his own entire website with one motive: finding the girl. Within 48 hours, the site was a success and he was put in contact with her. (Unfortunately, the relationship only lasted 2 months.)
9.) Special Tattoo Delivery
When London-native Torz Reynolds learned her boyfriend, Stuart “Chopper” May, was leaving her to move in with a new girlfriend with whom he had spent the last 6 months having an affair with, she sent him a very unusual house warming gift: she personally removed her own tattoo of his name, placed it in a jar and sealed it up nicely to send registered mail. Uh, ouch.
(via Mental Floss.)
I have never been more okay with being single. Who needs enemies with love like this?
