Finding yourself in an awkward situation from time to time is no big deal. It happens to everyone. And yet, some people seem to have angered some kind of “oopsy” deity. These people are cursed with constant skinned knees and backpedaling conversations. So, with some deeply scientific research, we came up with a guide to the awkward laws of nature that defy logic..
So, if you’re having a bad day (or life), blame one of these scientific theories:
1.) Late Train Theory – It’s a proven fact that the day you are late is the same day the train breaks down for whatever reason.
2.) Trash Can Theory – Whenever you need to throw away something, there will be no trash cans around for several blocks.
3.) Law of the Doctor’s Office – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. You’ll feel better by the time you arrive. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
4.) Butt Dial Law – If you accidentally dial a wrong number, someone always answers.
5.) Law of Gravity – Any small coin, nut, or screw when dropped will roll to the least accessible corner of the room.
6.) Law of Context – As soon as you deliver the punchline of a dirty joke to a friend at a party, the room will go completely quiet.
7.) Law of Manual Labor – When your hands are covered in grease, your nose will begin to itch, you’ll need something from your pocket, and you’ll have to pee real bad.
8.) Law of Waving – Statistically, the only people to ever wave to you are strangers who look like someone you know for a split second, so you wave back.
9.) Law of Supply and Demand – As soon as you start digging a product because it has everything you need, companies will stop making it. (RIP iPod classic)
10.) Nice Guy Law – The probability of running into someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
11.) Law of Lockers – If there’s just you and another person in a locker room, that person will almost always have the locker right next to yours.
12.) Law of Lunch – When you make a sandwich for work in the morning, it will always get engulfed in a brief cosmic time-hole so you forget it on the way out.
13.) Law of A Night’s Sleep – Whenever you have to wake up early in the morning, your brain will want to obsessively mull over the new Planet of The Apes movie from the night before, as confirmed by the world’s top neurologists.
14.) Vending Machine Law – As soon you try to prove to someone that the thing won’t work, it totally will.
15.) Traffic Law – When you change lanes, the one you were in before will always move faster than the one you are in now because you’re an idiot.
16.) Law of Clumsiness – The likelihood of someone watching you is proportional to how clumsy and stupid you are being right now. What a dork.
17.) Law of ‘of course’ – When you ask an acquaintance about their mom or dad, that parent will have died recently.
I got to the point where I don’t say “That was awkward!” anymore. I just lick at the ketchup stain off my shirt and accept it as my life. Maybe life would be boring if stuff like this didn’t happen on a daily basis? Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself anyway…
