As the year is winding down to a close, we must look toward the future. Hopefully, it’ll be a brighter future where things will be better. Let’s take a look into the our virtual crystal balls and (not so) boldly predict what will happen in the upcoming year. You can share this with your friends when all of my predictions come true and you all can hail me as a soothsayer.
1. You will break at least one New Year’s resolution.
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It’s best to make several New Year’s resolutions because that way you increase the odds of you sticking to one for the entire year. If you only do one and focus all of your energy into that one resolution, the chances of you crashing and burning are super high. Would you rather have 10 resolutions and only keep 5 the whole year or 1 and keep none? With the former you have a 50% success rate as opposed to the latter where you have a 0% success rate. That’s just math.
2. People will fight about politics.
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No matter how much the president asks for cooperation between the two political parties, the divide seems to be getting bigger. It looks as if these two sides will not agree on anything and without the emergence of a third, moderate party there will not be cooperation any time soon. From the highest levels of government, to the smallest discussions at the dinner table, it doesn’t seem like either side is ready to budge.
3. We will see more of Kim Kardashian’s butt.
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It’s impossible to escape. It’s on almost every magazine cover, website, newsstand, you just can’t escape Kim’s butt. And it’s not like she isn’t flaunting it. She wants us all to see it and be mesmerized. Well Kim, for probably another year, we will be. Excellent.
4. Someone will say that the world is going to end.
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I can’t even count the amount of fake apocalypses that I’ve lived through. I’m almost kind of hopeful for it to happen eventually because at this point, I feel like I’ve been lied to for so long. When will it actually happen? I’m going to guess that it won’t happen in 2015, but a ton of people will tell you that it will.
5. Something bad will happen with the new iPhones.
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If they release a new iPhone in the New Year there will be errors, if they don’t people will complain about their old ones. There is always something to complain about when it comes to technology and the iPhone is no different. There will be promises of an update that will solve everything and it will just make things worse.
6. More things will be LEGO-fied.
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LEGO has officially been resurrected. With the LEGO Movie, Marvel LEGO Superheroes video game, and the Lego episode of The Simpsons, LEGO have come storming back into the mainstream. Look for more things to be made into Legos and look for Lego toys to be more popular than ever.
7. There will be more naked pictures of celebrities leaked.
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This seems to be a common occurrence these days. It’s not a question of if, but when (and who). Either that or some celebrity will pose nude for a magazine. Regardless, we will get to see a naked celebrity in 2015. Trust me.
8. Taylor Swift will break up with someone.
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It happens almost monthly, so I’m being generous when I give her the entire year to break up with someone and then write a song about it. I think if Taylor Swift ever found love, her career would be over.
9. Nerds will freak out about some comic book movie.
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The Avengers 2 is slated to come out in 2015…and people are already going nuts. People can’t wait to hear about the new installments of comic book movies and Marvel recently revealed their plans for the films all the way up to the year 2019. In order to keep the masses in a frenzy, the comic book giants will have to do some more things to keep their fan bases salivating. Look for some kind of crazy stunt or something to come from Marvel or DC.
10. Peaky Blinders haircuts.
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With the raising popularity of the British show, I fully expect to see more haircuts like this. In fact, once my hair grows out, I intend of getting a haircut like these guys, so that will at least be one more haircut inspired by the show. Besides, the undercut hairstyle is already pretty popular, and this show will just put it more over the edge.
11. We’ll hear more songs about butts.
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Jeez, we have really become a society obsessed with butts, eh? From Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” song and accompanying video to Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea’s team up for the classic big butt hit, “Booty,” it seems like nothing will stop the butts. Well, while the popularity is still hot, expect a litany of other big bottomed girls to ride the coattails of butt success.
12. Hoverboards.
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Finally, a real hoverboard has made its way into society. Someone had the wherewithal to invent one and Tony Hawk got to ride it. Now, all we’re waiting for is mass production. We’ve been promised this stupid hoverboard for so many years, it’s about damn time we all get to ride one. Not just Tony Hawk.
Takes these predictions (and maybe start taking bets). Because, remember, these things will most likely happen in the year 2015.
…Except for the hoverboards. Those will never happen and I feel like every movie about the future has lied to me.
